The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Read online

  “Yeah, but that would mean …” Frank closed his eyes. “Who?”

  “Let me explain.”

  “Who?”

  “Frank,” Ellen cleared her throat. “I wanted a baby. You didn’t want to have one.”

  Finally, Frank blasted his loudest. “Who!”

  Ellen covered her ears. “I’m not telling you who.”

  “Oh, you’ll tell me who the father of the baby is.”

  “For what reason?” Ellen asked.

  Frank’s voice went high and squeaking as he tried to control his emotions, but they still came out. “For what reason? So I can fuckin’ kill him, that’s the reason!”

  “You have no right!”

  “What do you mean I have no right!” Frank yelled. “Every man here knows you and I have a history. Every man.”

  “And we decided to just be friends.”

  “So that means you can just jump into bed with the next available guy?”

  “Don’t!” Elle snapped. “I want a child. I want a child now. Not next year. Not two years. Now. I wanted to get pregnant. I was with him to get pregnant.”

  “And didn’t you feel anything, El? Not one fuckin’ iota of guilt over me? Yeah we were friends, but we decided to take it one step at a time to be more. Didn’t it bother you?”

  “Yes!” Ellen screamed. “Yes, it did! That is why I decided not to anymore. I stopped it just as fast as it started.”

  “Before you knew you were pregnant.”

  “Yes.” Ellen nodded.

  “So you stopped because of me. For what reason?”

  “Guilt. Dedication to you. And I figured if I’m going to have a baby, I’ll have it with you.”

  With a slow sweep down his face, Frank paced in the lab, calming himself.

  “Frank?” Apprehensively, Ellen inched closer to him. “Are you ok?”

  “No. I’m not. I’m trying.” Frank faced her. “But I need to know who in order to deal with this.”

  “Are you going to kill him?”

  “Probably, El.”

  “Then I’m not telling you,” Ellen said. “We need him.”

  Frank’s hand immediately slapped to his face. “No.”

  “What?”

  “No.”

  “Frank?”

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Frank stopped. “Fuck. Dean?”

  “Frank.”

  “It is Dean. Of all the fuckin’ men. Dean. Please tell me you really did stop it because of me, and not because sex with Dean was bad.”

  “The sex with Dean wasn’t …. It wasn’t meant to be for enjoyment, Frank. God.” Ellen said. “I stopped because of you.”

  “How many times?”

  “Now why do you have to ask? It’s not important.”

  “Oh, I beg to differ. I need to know. I have to get through this, I have to know.”

  “Twice. Well, three but the one time doesn’t count.”

  Frank’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t count? How does it not count?”

  “We didn’t finish.” Ellen waved her hand out.

  “I got news for you, El. It counts.” Frank paced again then stopped. “Does he know you’re pregnant?”

  “No. In fact, he probably wouldn’t even think I got pregnant.”

  Frank nodded. “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “Because you’re not telling him.” Frank stated.

  “What do you mean? I have to tell him.”

  “Oh, no you do not. He was with you to get you pregnant. You were with him to get pregnant. You got a fuckin’ bond already. I want that bond broke. We can’t get past this if you keep that bond. Telling him you’re pregnant by him is keeping that bond.”

  “But is it right?” Ellen asked.

  “Was it right that you went to him before I could change my mind? While you and I were working on being a couple?”

  Ellen shook her head.

  “Then you don’t tell him. He won’t know.”

  “He’ll know when I start to show,” Ellen said.

  “Who cares? You tell him it’s mine. In fact, when the time is right, we’ll tell everyone it’s mine.”

  Ellen slowly stood and walked across the lab.

  “I want a life with you, El. I want to work toward that life.” Frank followed her. “I can’t have a life with you if we have Dean interfering and playing Daddy. This has to be our start. Our child. I’ll raise it. I’ll take responsibility. I’ll be the father. No one has to know but you and me.”

  Ellen turned and faced him.

  “I love you, El. Let’s do this. What do you say?” Frank asked.

  With slight trepidation, Ellen answered, “I say, congratulations. You’re going to be a father.”

  SUNDAY, JULY 30

  Garfield County, MT

  Scattered about the floor, the voices echoed in the large building. Miguel, exhausted from his trip there, lay on the linoleum, his hands folded across his large stomach, his eyes fighting to stay open. Jonas nibbled on an apple, one of a bunch he and Miguel had picked. John Matoose stretched out on his side, using the floor as a desk as he canvassed the building with his eyes. Dean sat next to Jonas, listening quietly, like everyone else, to Henry.

  “So what do you suppose this building actually is for, John?” Henry asked as he sat Indian style.

  “It’s not in here.” He turned a page. “Storage, maybe.”

  “So close to town? And it’s big, but not that big.” Henry commented. “Should we use it for distribution?”

  John shook his head. “Joe already picked the building that reminded him of a store.”

  Miguel, nearly asleep, grumbled, “None of you paid attention.”

  The four of them turned their heads to the man they thought was asleep.

  “None of you paid attention. Joe said what he wanted to do with this building, all of you agreed.”

  Henry laughed. “You mean make it into the town meeting hall slash bar?”

  “Social Hall.” Miguel corrected. “And I have to agree. Once we get this place going, we’ll need it.”

  Henry noticed that John was writing. “You’re actually putting that down?”

  “Sure, why not?” John asked. “Joe said that. We did agree. I remember. Besides, we have nothing to stock it. We’ve spent all this time getting this place ready with things we need to live and survive. I for one think it’ll be a nice change of pace to go on a run that involves something other than surviving.”

  Henry shrugged his shoulders. “I guess you’re right. Hey, Miguel?” He received a grunt and Henry shrugged again. “Jonas, how are things in Ashtonville? Are they getting stuff ready?”

  “They have plans to really get into it this week,” Jonas said. “Frank, Joe, and George have a bunch of neighboring places they plan to clean out and pack up. But they are limited in time because they only want to go out sunup to sundown. They don’t want to leave the ladies since the incident with Ellen.”

  Not only did that catch John’s and Henry’s attention, but Dean’s as well. Dean’s head sprang up. “What happened? Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine.” Jonas told him. “She was working at that doctor’s office doing things in that lab. I don’t know what, none of us do. She needed something from town and decided to walk there” He saw Dean wave him on to hurry him. “Easy.” He held his hands out. “Anyhow, she went there late and another straggler came from the highway.” He paused in is story to let them rumble verbally in worry. “But . . .” Jonas lifted his hand. “Frank happened to be walking to get her and showed up in time. Just in time. And.” Jonas took a bite of is apple wiping the juice from his mouth as he spoke so nonchalantly. “He killed him. What is it about Ellen and attracting trouble?”

  Henry agreed. “I think she’s a magnet.”

  John added, “Maybe she does it just so Frank can be her hero.”

  Jonas snickered, “Frank can be my hero any time.”

  Dean, concerned and perturbed, probed Jonas. “Was she
hurt, did he hurt her? What did he do?”

  “Fine, Dean.” Jonas said. “She’s fine.”

  Dean’s head dropped in relief.

  Gathering up his papers, John lifted himself from the floor. “Break time over, let’s hit the next few structures then we’ll let Miguel and Jonas rest up completely from their trip.” He stretched out his arms and shook his head about the story Jonas had just told. “And all of you quizzed me about these fences. Now you know why.” Tucking his papers under his arm against his thin body, he moved to the door. “You guys coming?”

  Henry stood up. “Yeah.” He saw Dean and Jonas stand, and Miguel still lay on the floor. “Miguel.” Henry called him. “Miguel.” He walked to him and nudged him with his foot. “Miguel.” Seeing that Miguel didn’t move, Henry shrugged and followed John from the building.

  “Jonas.” Dean tugged his arm as they walked out the door, holding him up from following Henry and John. “Have you talked to Ellen since I was gone? Has she said anything to you like how she’s been doing?”

  “Nah, she doesn’t need to say how she’s doing. Frank has her taken care of.”

  “I see.” Dean released him. “I guess that’s what she needs.” With a lowered head Dean staggered behind the group. Hoping that Jonas and Miguel would bring some news about Ellen other than the trouble she had, anything at all, something positive, and he received nothing. Feeling let down, Dean veered off unnoticed from the pack and returned to his work of stocking the hospital.

  SUNDAY, AUGUST 6

  Ashtonville, CT

  It was something different to occupy their time. Ellen really didn’t mind that Joe pulled her from her little lab where she piddled about, telling her to be part of the group for once, work had to be done. Ellen had done her community work but saw no reason to join in on the most recent endeavor that Joe deemed women’s work. For the most part, it would take her mind off of things. The more she drew to the end of the experiments Dean left her to run, the more she thought of Dean and the baby. And the more she thought of him, the more she missed Dean. Missing Dean was the biggest no-no Ellen could do to herself. So to counter it, she constantly remembered their last conversation and how he just up and left. And then there was Frank. Frank would help, too, but not in a supportive way, more in a Frank way. His I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-Dean attitude. His bitching about a man be barely knew yet had already marked as the one person that he would end up killing. His whole Dean-outlook coupled with Ellen’s loyalty to Frank always helped to sway her. Plus the fact that Frank, she, Johnny and the baby would soon be starting a new life together… she believed. Dean was not a part. He couldn’t be.

  It was a great day for August, hot, but on this day Ellen joined Andrea, Maggie, and Jenny on the flat grassy front yard of her home. Joe’s task sat center of the four-woman circle. Wooden crates sat nearby them to hold the results of their job.

  The conversation flowed as if they were making a quilt instead of separating metals to be brought with them to Montana, metals that would be melted down in the future near or far for when they ran out of the supplies they had gathered and were then forced to make their own. Supplies, as Joe stated, such as needles for the hospital, ammunition, tools, weapons, fillings for teeth, and even something as minuscule as a nail, metal was needed and Joe wanted to stockpile tons of it. Unsorted metals waited for them at Montana, and a monthly metal run would be made until they drained the last drop that they could.

  Ellen supposed she’d thank him in the future when she needed a new frying pan, but as she sat in the front yard she wanted to curse him. Her fingers ached, but that wasn’t entirely Joe’s fault.

  With a slight grunt and a sigh of relief, Ellen dropped her shoulders. “Ah, got it. Tough one, too.” She held up the small diamond, letting it catch the light of the sun. She then placed it in a velvet sack she had sitting on the ground next to her and tossed the band in the crate designated for gold.

  Andrea snickered as she watched Ellen dog through the pile for another piece of jewelry with a stone in it. “Why are you doing that, saving those? They’re worthless now.”

  “Not really.” Ellen showed Andrea the red ruby then took her small screwdriver and pried at the stone. “The way I see it is some time in the future someone is going to want to give jewelry. And they’ll be like, ‘hey, I can make a ring but I need a diamond’ and I’ll be there. Figuring money will be obsolete then I probably will get one hell of a trade for what I have.”

  Jenny giggled like the teenager she was. “Are you going to stash them in that box you are making?”

  Maggie turned to Ellen’s nod. “What box?”

  “I’m going to call it my memorabilia box,” Ellen stated. “It’ll be filled with useless things for the future that just will remind me of the things I loved in this world. The world we lost.”

  Andrea let out an ‘ah’ as she separated metals faster than the rest of them.

  Jenny leaned forward over her folded legs. “Ellen, will you charge the man who wants to make me a ring? Will you charge him for a diamond?”

  “Of course not, Jenny.” Ellen said.

  “Good.” Jenny sat back in relief. “I plan on getting married someday, and when it gets close I can throw hints that you have the goods.”

  Ellen looked up at her a little shocked. “Married.” To Ellen it seemed like such a starry-eyed teenage notion. Hadn’t she noticed that the world had ended? “Jenny, who are you going to marry?”

  “One of the men left I suppose.” Jenny fiddled with the ring she held. “I could wait until we get more men to choose from, but according to Joe that may be years. There’re enough men to go around. And the way I look at it is as much as we may find them distasteful now, after spending all this time together we’re all bound to connect and they’ll start looking different. Like the boys in my choir. When I first joined choir I thought . . .” Jenny cringed, frowning. “They were gross. But . . . the more I got to know them, the more their appearance didn’t matter. They were nice boys. That’s why I got to date a lot.”

  Ellen snickered. “Sort of on the lines that beggars can’t be choosers.”

  Andrea nudged Ellen’s leg. “Be nice.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean to be mean.” Ellen looked at Jenny. “I was thinking how right you are. Maggie, what about you, do you think you’ll get involved with anyone again?”

  Maggie shook her head. “No, no. I was married for forty-three years. I’m done. And I’m glad also glad that the men with us are young.” She saw the quick look from Jenny. “To me they’re young.”

  Ellen edged on. “Oh, I don’t know, Maggie. What about the farmers that Joe and George found in Indiana? I hear they’re pretty old. You may find yourself in a hot and heavy post-plague-world fling.”

  Maggie, embarrassed, raised her hand with a chuckle as she grabbed her chest. “Please. You make me blush.”

  Ellen laughed. “What about you, Andrea? You were very much in love with Jake. You think you’ll ever be with anyone again?”

  Andrea tilted her head. “If it happens. That was something Jake and I always discussed.” She saw Maggie nod in agreement. “I guess very happy couples do. We always promised each other that we wouldn’t stay alone. That we wouldn’t let the memory of one of us get in the way of allowing ourselves to feel. So . . . if, like Jenny, one of our men looks good to me, sure, I’ll move on.”

  “Like Joe?” Ellen asked.

  “Joe Slagel?” Andrea shook her head dramatically. “Joe Slagel is a heathen. Our sweet Lord will frown upon me if I get involved with such a man. No, no, no.”

  Ellen freed another diamond from its base, smiled at that and at Andrea’s comment. “So, Jenny, have you given any thought to which man here may strike you as The One?” Ellen brought her fingers up as if quoting.

  “I was thinking . . .” Jenny smiled. “John Matoose. What do you think, Ellen? Do you think he’s cute?”

  “John Matoose?” Ellen looked puzzled. “I don’t think I even
remember what he looks like, he’s been gone so long. Andrea, do you?”

  Andrea nodded. “Thin man, tall, nice face, blonde hair, kind of sweeps it some to hide his baldness.”

  Ellen winced. “I hate when men do that. If you’re gonna go bald, go bald gracefully or shave your head like Frank. Anyhow, I guess he would be cute, Jenny, I don’t remember him striking me as ugly. But I remember what Henry looks like. He’s very nice and …” Ellen winked. “Henry is cute.”

  “Henry is old.” Jenny stated,

  “Henry’s old?” Ellen was shocked. “Henry is not old. Henry is twenty-nine years old.”

  Andrea interjected. “Remember, Ellen, when you’re seventeen years old, twenty-nine is old. Twenty-three is not.”

  “Who’s twenty-three?” Ellen asked.

  “John Matoose.” Andrea answered. “I remember asking him.”

  Ellen’s mouth dropped open. “John Matoose is that young? I thought he was my age.” She shrugged. “It’s the military life that does it to you. Look at Frank. Anyhow, Jenny, why don’t you get to know John when we go to Montana? At least your evenings won’t be boring like the rest of ours.”

  “Ok.” Jenny liked that idea. “You know, Ellen, Dean will help you not be bored. He’s cute in an old guy way. Or don’t you remember what he looks like since he’s been gone so long, too.”

  Ellen lost the smile on her face and took on a solemn look. “No, I remember what Dean looks like.” The corner of her mouth twitched some in sadness. “But . . . I kind of think Dean is the type of guy who would rather be bored in his lab by himself. Plus, I have Frank. And . . .” Ellen smiled. “Enough talk about that stuff.” She rummaged through the dwindling pile. “Oh, look.” She held up an old latch key. “I’m keeping this. I’ll put this in my box.”

  Andrea shook her head. “I certainly hope in a few years you’ll pull out that box and share it with us all.”

  “I will. However, Andrea, I think in a few years I’ll probably be on everyone’s least favorite person list. I had that problem, you know.”